


say goodbye to all that we had, say goodbye to what we lost

by emilia_kaisa



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: 15DaysChallenge, Alcohol, Angst, Complicated Relationships, Future Fic, Getting Back Together, Hopeful Ending, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Not Beta Read, Songfic, Sunsets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-26 14:09:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19007368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: "I always thought it was sadThe way we act like strangersAfter all that we hadWe act like we had never met"orJavi thought that a heartbreak couldn't last that long, but he was wrong.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi it's me and it's almost 2am and I'm bringing... this... inspired by 'Sunset' by The XX, title stolen from 'Falling apart' by Michael Schulte. I apologize for any errors, English is not my first language and my phone's autocorrect is wilding.  
> I hope you enjoy!

Javi was drunk. 

Or maybe drunk was too big of a word to describe that, he was just tipsy, a bit, or maybe a little more. Or whatever, who cared.

Javi closed his eyes, the music pulsing in his ears, and he was floating, people dancing around him, strangers' hands brushing his arms and back, inviting him to join.

"Hey."

Javi opened his eyes, sparks of pink and purple flickering, and he blinked rapidly, wondering dizzily where he had put his glasses.

"Hey." Luca repeated, a bit louder, grabbing his arm "Javi, you okay?"

Javi was okay, he was great, just his head was spinning a little, and harsh, pulsing lights were making him feel a little bit sick.

He opened his mouth to tell Luca all of that, but instead of speaking he only inhaled deeply, suddenly feeling like he was about to suffocate.

"Come on." Luca tugged his arm gently, leading him through the crowd to where they table was located, in a dark corner "Sit down, I'm going to get you some juice." Luca smiled kindly, and Javi wanted to tell him he was okay and didn't need a babysitter, but the Italian was gone before he had a chance to open his mouth.

He sighed and leaned back, turning his head to look at other people sitting by the table. There was not many of them, the others dancing or on their way back to the hotel. There was only Kevin, drinking something very colorful and texting with a speed of lighting, and Anna, sleeping with her head on Ondrej's shoulder.

Javi blinked slowly and closed his eyes, sinking back in the plush surface of the sofa.

He didn't want to move. He didn't want to go back to his hotel room, big and pretty and so cold in the mornings.

Why was it so cold, in the middle of the summer?

"Javi."

It was Luca again, handing Javi a tall glass of orange juice. He was smiling, like always, and Javi suddenly noticed grey hair on his temple, and he couldn't tear his eyes away.

How old was he? Javi couldn't remember, alcohol coursing in his veins, making everything blurry and muffled.

Luca shook his head and took Javi's hand, forcefully wrapping his fingers around the glass.

"Drink." he said gently and Javi obeyed dutifully, the taste sweet and fresh on his tongue. It was good, and Javi didn't stop until he finished, craving for more instantly. 

"Thank you." he said, his voice hoarse and drowning in the music. Luca patted his shoulder and leaned to speak into his ear, his words slow and clear. 

"I'm going to catch a cab, I think Anna and Ondrej would want to go. You're coming with us?" 

Javi didn't want to go, but his mind was a bit clearer now, and he knew he shouln't stay. They had practice, the next day, or maybe in a few hours, Javi had no idea. So he just nodded silently, and Luca smiled, squeezing his shoulder before walking away again. 

Javi took a deep breath, putting the glass away. It was a good idea, to go, to get back to his cold bed in his cold room and pretend that he was at peace with everything that was happening in his life. 

The music shifted, a loud buzz of excitement running through the crowd as the firsts notes played, catching attention of Javi's dizzy mind. 

_I saw you again,_

_it felt like we had never met_

_It's like the sun set in your eyes and never wanted to rise_

_And what have you done with the one I love?_

Javi's heartbeat picked up, strong, painful beats, bruising his ribs and knocking air out of his lungs, and he wished he was drunk, he wished he had drunk more, because then maybe it wouldn't hurt, and maybe his mind wouldn't go back, to Toronto, to Sochi, to Pyeongchang, and to that one summer evening when everything had shattered to pieces. 

_You were more than just a friend,_

_oh the feeling_

_It never came to an ending,_

_I can't bear to see you_

He had thought he could do it. He was older now, he was thirty- three, and he should be wiser, and he should be healed. But it still was inside him, the pain he had felt back then, when they were standing in the last rays of sun, gold and warm and wrong. 

It felt like a lifetime ago, when they had broken each others hearts, and they kept on falling apart, spiralling out of control, and now, years later, everything was gone. 

They had used to be so close, him and Yuzu. 

They had used to be in love. 

_I always thought it was a shame_

_That we have to play these games_

_It felt like you really knew me_

_Now it feels like you see through me_

His insides twisted sharply and he got up, almost tumbling down. He ignored the concerned look Kevin sent him as he rushed to the washroom, the words burning in his head. 

_When I see you again_

_I'll know not to expect_

_Stay one step away_

_We won't have to wait_

_When I see you again_

_And I'm greeted as a friend_

_It is understood_

_That we did all we could_

He threw up into the sink, tears prickling in the corners of his eyes, and he hated himself for not being stronger, and he hated Yuzu for acting like they were nothing to each other. 

Or maybe it was the truth now. Maybe he was nothing for Yuzu, nothing more than an ex training mate. 

_I always thought it was sad_

_The way we act like strangers_

_After all that we had_

_We act like we had never met_

He cleaned up the best he could and then drink water straight from the tap, trying to get rid of the bitter taste of acid. And when he looked in the mirror he couldn't really recognize himself, and Javi felt weak, as if he was about to collapse. 

He was vaguely aware of Luca and Kevin coming to get him, leading him to a cab, gently pushing him to sit in a backseat. 

"You okay, kid?" Luca asked, watching him searchingly, and Javi shook his head before closing his eyes and leaning against the window, cold glass soothing his burning skin. 

He wanted to sleep. He wanted to forget.

"What's your room number?" Luca asked fifteen minutes later when they were standing by an elevator, and it took Javi a moment to remember where he had put his key card. He handed it to Luca, who was still smiling, but there was something sad, ghosting in the corners of his eyes. 

"You're going to be okay." he said quietly, and Javi was too tired to answer, so he just slumped on his shoulder as they entered the elevator. 

His stomach hurt. His chest hurt. He just wanted to sleep. 

The corridor on his floor was quiet and Javi wondered dizzily what time it was, but he didn't ask, leaning heavily against the wall as Luca opened his door. 

"Okay." the Italian said softly "Do you need my help with something or you'll manage?" 

"I'm fine." Javi forced himself to mumble, pushing from the wall and then falling against it again. 

"Yeah, don't worry, I've got you-" Luca sighed, grabbing Javi's shoulder firmly, but then there was a quiet ding of the elevator, footsteps, and then-

"I can do this." 

Javi closed his eyes, refusing for it to be true. He was feeling sick again, and Yuzu's voice only made it worse, his chest tight and painful. 

Luca said something, Javi didn't know what, but after a second he felt a familiar arm wrapping around his waist, and he shuddered, trying to remember when was the last time they had touched for real, with purpose, with want. 

Yuzu didn't say anything when the door closed behind them and he led Javi to the bed, hepling him to sit down. 

Javi still wasn't looking at him, too scared of what it would do to him, and he closed his eyes, praying for Yuzu to go away. But instead he heard quiet shifting and then gentle hands touched his ankles, moving to untie his shoes. 

Javi gasped, and opened his eyes. 

"What-" he choked out, his throat feeling like sandpaper, and Yuzu looked up at him, and it was the first time in ages they looked each other in the eyes. 

It was too much, and Javi couldn't do it. So he closed his eyes again, letting Yuzu take his shoes off, and trying not to think about that one night years earlier, when they both had been tipsy and giddy, laughing as they were undressing each other for the very first time. 

The moment Yuzu was done Javi curled on the bed with his back turned to him, moving to lay a bit further, his blurred thoughts yelling at him to get away from those eyes, cool hands, face made of stone. 

"What are you doing, Javi?" 

Yuzu's voice was quiet and raspy, as if it hurt to speak, and Javi felt tears gathering in the corners of his eyes and he was too tired, and it hurt too much. 

"I miss you." he mumbled against the pillow, his head swimming "I miss you." he repeated weakly, and before the world faded into darkness, he thought he heard a quiet sob and rustling of a fabric. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what is this but I wrote it on my phone and I have a love- hate relationship with it.

_The weather was great so the park was full of people, despite the fact that the sun was just about to hide behind the horizon. Javi closed his eyes and turned his face to the sun, enjoying the bits of warmth caressing his skin. It was a good day, and Javi was in a good mood. And now it would only get better._

_Javi smiled to himself when he heard someone sitting next to him on the bench, and when he opened his eyes he saw Yuzu's familiar face, and his heart fluttered._

_"Hi." he said happily, leaning in for a kiss, and was a bit surprised when Yuzu curled his fingers on the front of Javi's shirt, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. Usually he was insisting on being more careful while in the public, but Javi didn't mind that change._

_"Wow." Javi chuckled when they pulled apart "This day is really getting better and better." he said and he noticed how Yuzu's lips twitched "How are you?"_

_Yuzu smiled, but there was something strained about it, and Javi finally started to think that maybe not everything was okay._

_"Hey." he muttered, reaching to cup Yuzu's cheek, caressing his skin "What's the matter?"_

_Yuzu inhaled deeply, leaning into the touch for the briefest of moments, and then his expression set as he looked at Javi with dark eyes that for some reason were blazing with determination._

_"I need a break." he said and Javi didn't understand._

_"A break from what?" he asked, confused, withdrawing his hand "From training? Are you okay? Wait, are you injured? Why-"_

_"Javi." Yuzu cut him off quietly and Javi stopped guessing, looking at Yuzu closely and feeling something weird and cold setting next to his heart._

_Oh._

_"Okay." he said shakily "A break. Okay. How long? A month, two?"_

_"Javi." Yuzu said again, voice catching in his throat, and Javi understood._

_"Oh." was all he was able to say, his voice weak "I see." he mumbled, moving away towards the edge of the bench, and he noticed a glimpse of pain in Yuzu's eyes._

_He couldn't breathe._

_It didn't make sense._

_"Why are you doing this?" he couldn't stop himself from asking "Are you mad at me, for-" he tried, almost desperately, and Yuzu shook his head._

_"How can you-" he trailed off but then bit his lip, his expression flickering "Maybe after Pyeongchang, we could-" he said quietly but then stopped, as if knowing that what he wanted to say was wrong, and Javi almost laughed hysterically._

_"There is two years till Pyeongchang, Yuzu." he said, his voice trembling "Are you really expecting me to wait, for a maybe? To act like I don't-" he cut himself off, but Yuzu's expression twisted with sorrow._

_It was so warm, the last rays of the day burning Javi's skin and flickering in Yuzu's eyes. Such a nice, warm summer evening, and everything was wrong._

_It didn't feel real to Javi, that moment. They had barely begun and now they were ending, just like that, and Javi couldn't understand._

_"You still haven't told me why." he said quietly._

_He just wanted to know that one thing, to make a decisions if it was all fighting for._

_But Yuzu didn't say a word, watching him with those dark eyes, sad but full of determination, and Javi knew that he lost him._

_Or maybe, he gave up. Maybe if he kissed him, if he told him that he loved him, he would crush that stone mask on Yuzu's face and get him back._

_He didn't._

_He gave up, he went without a fight, because if he had learned something about Yuzu, it was that he never changed his decisions._

_It didn't feel real, but it was. And it hurt, and Javi had to get away before he would forget how to breathe, and he would drown and never get back to the surface again._

_"I'll see you on training tomorrow." he said, his voice hollow, and he stood up, the sun blinding him and bringing tears to his eyes "Goodbye, Yuzu."_

_As he was walking away, he thought he heard his name falling from Yuzu's lips, over and over again, but he didn't stop._

_If he wanted to save himself, he needed to keep going._

 

* * *

 

 

His head was pulsing with pain and at first he didn't even realize he was awake, reality not quite catching up to him. It was hard to keep his eyes fully open, but he tried, and after a moment he realized that the room was warm and drowning in shadow, only a bit of light coming through a crack in between the courtains.

His lips were dry and there was an awful taste in his mouth, and his eyes fixed on a glass of water standing on the bedside table. He didn't remember putting it there, but the past night was a blur, filled with too loud music, lights, alcohol and feelings he should keep bottled up.

"You're awake."

Javi gasped, sitting up rapidly and ignoring the dull pain hammering inside his skull.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice hoarse, heartbeat picking up.

Yuzu was sitting on an armchair close to the bathroom door. His face was unreadable as he kept on looking at Javi, hands folded in his lap, his shoulders a bit tense. 

Dark and cold like a statue, but still making Javi lose his breath a little.

Eight years. Eight years passed since they had kissed for the last time, and four years since they had a conversation longer than five minutes.

It was how it was. Dry greetings, civil talks for the sake of that shadow of a friendship they somehow managed to keep despite everything what had happened.

"Go shower." Yuzu said quietly, and if Javi didn't know him better, he would think that he was totally calm; but Javi knew him better, and he could sense tension in his every word "I will order you something to eat."

Javi didn't understand, couldn't understand, but suddenly he was painfully aware of his shirt sticking to his skin, the taste in his mouth even more bitter. So he slowly got himself out of the bed and grabbed some clothes from the suitcase, feeling Yuzu's gaze on him, heavy and searching, and Javi felt like he had to get away from those eyes, and he basically ran away, and it felt like he was able to breathe only when he hid in the bathroom.

He threw his clothes to the floor and stepped into the shower, sighing deeply when hot water started caressing his back, but all he could think about was Yuzu, sitting so close to him, just behind the wall, and that knowledge sent a shiver up Javi's spine. He closed his eyes, leaning forward and resting his forehead against the wall.

So many years. Illusion of moving on, falling in love with someone else and then losing her, because maybe that was his destiny, to never be truly happy. To always be alone.

The memories of the last night came back to him in rapid, harsh flashes, flickering behind his closed eyes. Drinks, more than he could ever handle, lights making his head spin, music pulsing in his ears, lyrics floating in his brain and making him grit his teeth, because he didn't need that, finding something poetic in that pathetic situation.

A part of him hoped Yuzu wouldn't be there anymore, because Javi wasn't sure how to act around him, what to say; but another part of him craved his presence, still.

Javi glanced into the mirror before leaving and he saw his reflection, a face of a man who was too tired, and who looked older than he really was. Misery wasn't a good look on him, in the end.

Yuzuru was still there, a tray lying on on the table next to him, and Javi's stomach churned.

"Thank you." he mumbled awkwardly, hesitating. He could eat by the same table as Yuzu, or move to the bed and make the situation even more uncomfortable. So he chose the table, even though it meant basically facing Yuzu all the time.

"Not a problem." Yuzu said and Javi swallowed hard, looking down at his omelete; he always like it made like that, and he wondered if it was a coincidence or maybe Yuzu remembered.

They sat in silence, Javi eating slowly, swallowing a little bit hard; he tried not to look at Yuzu, but he still could see him in the corner of his eye. He was pretty sure Yuzu was glancing at him from above his phone, from time to time, and Javi had no idea what to think about it.

"What time is it?" he asked suddenly, surprising himself, and Yuzu flinched, giving him a quick look before glancing at his phone again

"3pm. And eight minutes."

"The practice started an hour ago." Javi said quietly "Why aren't you there?"

Yuzu inhaled deeply, meeting his eyes again.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'm okay." Javi said quietly, his heart stuttering painfully "You don't have to-"

"Are you?" Yuzu asked, something urgent in his voice, taking Javi by surprise "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Javi cleared his throat "A bit hangover, but I'm fine."

Yuzu kept on looking at him, and Javi knew it was ages since they had looked at each other for so long. They had learned how to act in each others' presence, but it still felt unnatural, sometimes, and Javi couldn't just look at him and not to think about the past.

It struck him, in that moment, that Yuzu was turning thirty that year, and somehow Javi still saw the same boy he had fallen for all those years back. Yuzu wasn't a child anymore, though, and there was something sharper in his features, and something bitter in the way his lips twitched from time to time.

Yuzu looked like he wanted to say something more, but he decided against it; instead, he stood up and walked over to the big window, opening the curtains and letting more light in.

"Did you mean that?" he asked suddenly, his back still turned to Javi.

"What?"

"What you said yesterday."

Javi flinched, not really able to recall every detail of the night; but now, watching the tense line of Yuzu's shoulders, he knew that it was something important.

"About?"

A deep exhale, before Yuzu finally turned to look at him, his gaze dark and blaring.

"That you missed me."

It was a moment where Javi should lie. But he was tired, and his head hurt, and he was feeling small and fed up with pretending.

"I did." he said quietly "I do."

Yuzu sighed deeply, his shoulders dropping, gaze searching Javi's face as if looking for an answer for some silent question.

For a moment everything was quiet, and all Javi could hear was his own heartbeat, quick and bruising, and then Yuzu moved, stepping closer, and it was clear that he was holding something back.

"Will you come with me?" he asked "Please."

"Where?"

"Just-" Yuzu closed his eyes for the briefest of moments, and when he opened them again his gaze was almost vulnerable "Please."

Javi knew he could say no. Maybe he should say no, even. But he was feeling vulnerable too, and not strong enough.

"Okay." he said, more quiet than he intended, standing up a little wobbly "Okay."

 

 

The air tasted good, so high above the ground.

Javi closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, air and sun caressing his sore temples. He felt Yuzu's presence right next to him, quiet but somehow not as sure as just a few minutes before, when he was leading Javi upstairs and straight to the roof. Javi had no idea why the door there was open, but he chose not to ask. He didn't know if he should anyway.

"Thank you." he said after a few moments of silence "I needed air."

Yuzu nodded, still looking at the buildings spreading in front of them, his arms folded on his chest.

"I can't stop thinking about it." he said quietly and Javi felt some small pressure forming in his chest.

"About what?" he asked, but he felt like he knew, and he wasn't sure if he was ready for it, picking at tha old wound, not letting it heal.

"Us." the word sounded soft in Yuzu's mouth, and Javi's hands trembled as he turned to look at him.

"And what do you think?" he asked, his tongue feeling stiff, and Yuzu bit his lip, and just like that his face was honest and open, and it almost hurt to look at him.

"I think that I miss you too." he said quietly "I miss you so much I can't breathe, sometimes."

The pressure in Javi's chest increased, and he couldn't breathe either.

"And when I look back, I- I'm not sure if it was worth it. Giving you up." Yuzu added and Javi knew he had to say something, because it wasn't only on Yuzu, what had happened between them.

"I gave you up too." he said with difficulty "I could've tried."

"I wouldn't have let you."

"It doesn't matter."

Yuzu looked at him for a moment, his gaze deep and thoughtful, and then Javi saw a ghost of a smile dancing on his lips.

"We were so young, back then." he said quietly "And I couldn't... I couldn't have loved you better. But-" he closed his eyes, like a man preparing to take a jump into the unknown "- but I think I can, now."

It didn't feel like it was real, and Javi didn't know what he was feeling, except for a sharp pain spreading in his chest, making him feel like he was about to explode.

"It's been eight years, Yuzu." he said, his throat hurting, the words coming out strained "I-"

"I know." Yuzu said quietly "I've been counting every day." he took one step closer, swallowing visibly "I don't expect that you still feel the same. I just-" he shrugged helplessly "I just want to know if maybe there is a chance, that you can come back to my life. In any way you want, because I can't-" a corner of his mouth twitched as if he was about to smile "- I really can't do it without you. I never could. I pretended, but... no."

Javi opened his mouth, not to speak, to breathe, because he had used to imagine that moment, years ago, until he gave up and took things as they were.

There was no expectations in Yuzu's expression, just hope, and Javi knew that time it was his choice.

He didn't think about it, he couldn't, because that would mean stopping, and hesitating, and Javi would think about all the ways he could get hurt again. And then maybe it would slip away again, and he couldn't let that happen.

"Yuzu." he said quietly, the tip of his tongue tingling "Could you kiss me?"

Yuzu inhaled sharply, his eyes going wide, and for a moment Javi thought that he didn't hear him, or didn't understand. But then something flashed in his eyes, dark and deep, and he closed the distance between them, his step quick and sure.

It felt so much different than before. It was slow and timid, a bit unsure and absolutely overwhelming, and Javi's legs felt so weak he had to clutch to Yuzu's shoulders to steady himself. Surprisingly, there was no desperation, no hunger, just light, gentle touches, as if they were trying to remember what they had used to have. It was chaste and careful, and it ended way too soon, but Javi was still gasping for air when they parted and he leaned his forehead against Yuzu's, feeling dazed.

"Javi." Yuzu whispered, his voice strained, and he brought his hand to Javi's cheek, stroking it with trembling fingers "Javi, I-"

Javi shook his head slightly, catching Yuzu's hand and pressing a kiss to his palm.

"I need a moment." he said, stuttering "I need to-"

It was as if only now everything was catching up to him, and he was suddenly so aware of Yuzu's touch, of his lips so close to Javi's, of what it all meant. He shuddered, suddenly feeling cold, and he heard Yuzu inhaling deeply.

"Okay." he murmured "Let's go back." he said, taking Javi's hand and tugging it gently, leading Javi back to the room, and it didn't feel real again. Just a day earlier he had been miserable, drinking, thinking about the past.

Now, maybe there was also a future.

 

 

Javi blinked slowly and Yuzu blinked back, moving a little bit closer, their hands joined on the matress between them.

Javi didn't know how long they were lying like that; hours, probably, because the light filling the room turned orange, the air coming through the open window just a little bit colder than before.

They held hands. They talked a bit, catching up, the words feeling awkward after months, years of silence.

"You know that we can't go back to what we were." Javi muttered, running his thumb over Yuzu's knuckles "I can't."

"I don't want that." Yuzu whispered, his eyes shining "I want to make you fall in love with me again. And if you don't-" he swallowed hard "- then it's okay. I just-" he smiled slighty, shrugging, and Javi's chest felt tight with all the emotions flooding him.

"I do love you." he said quietly "I never stopped, I just... learned to live with the thought that-"

"Don't." Yuzu whispered, pressing his fingers to Javi's lips "Please, don't."

"Okay." Javi said softly, because he wasn't the only one who had been suffering "But I need to know one thing." he said, squeezing Yuzu's hand "- why now?"

"I'm going to be thirty this year." Yuzu said quietly "And I just realized that I'm scared. I'm scared of this life, and you... you're the only person that ever made me feel truly safe. Even after-" he stopped for a moment "- even after what happened, thinking about you made it easier. Even if it hurt. I just-" he let out a wet chuckle, and Javi saw tears filling his eyes "Can you forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive, Yuzu." Javi said quietly, kissing his fingertips "I- it hurt so bad. Then, yesterday, today. And I blamed you, and I blamed myself, but this... I sometimes think that there was nothing we could do, back then. Later, maybe we could handle it better, don't pretend like we were strangers, like it had never happened. I feel like it hurt the most, more than-" he stopped himself from saying too much, but Yuzu's eyes were focused on him, and so dark Javi felt like he could drown in them.

"More than?"

"Than thinking that you never truly loved me."

Yuzu didn't say anything, but there was a tear running down his cheek, and Javi felt like he could cry too.

"I'm sorry." he whispered and Yuzu smiled, air leaving his mouth in a quiet, wet wheeze.

"I only realized how much I loved you when I watched you walking away. When I thought that I would never kiss you again. And I still didn't do anything, because I thought that I needed to make that sacrifice."

It was so much, and it was so overwhelming, and Javi didn't want to speak anymore.

"You can kiss me now." he said, leaning closer, and Yuzu's eyes twinkled.

"I know."

 

It was mesmerizing, it was a dream, and Javi's hands were shaking as he ran them down Yuzu's chest, his fingertips burning. He looked beautiful like that, bathed in the golden light, his muscles trembling under Javi's touch.

He had changed so much since their last time together, both of them had. Bodies not as trained and lean as they had used to be, but they still remembered each other, the details burned in the back of their minds. Javi still could find that spot on Yuzu's neck that was making him whimper quietly, and Yuzu ran his fingers along Javi's ribs, pressing gently over that spot where it had broken one time.

"Javi." Yuzu breathed out, reaching to cup Javi's cheek, stroking with shaking fingers "Javi." he repeated, as if he was marveling in the way the name tasted on his tongue, and Javi's spine tingled at the sound on his voice, low and husky, and trembling. 

They still had so much to talk about. What was going to happen. How they were going to do that. How they had changed, during those years. 

They would talk about it, but now they needed to touch, to kiss, to feel, so they knew it was real, the promise that they wouldn't let go of each other that time. 

Javi took Yuzu's hand and pressed a gentle kiss to his wrist before moving up his arm, tasting his warm skin, a bit salty, with the slightest hint of soap. It was intoxicating, his taste, his scent, and Javi was greedy to have more, so he buried his face against Yuzu's neck, inhaling sharply as everything inside him was trembling with need. 

"I missed you so much." he couldn't help but whisper against Yuzu's skin, drawing a quiet whimper out of him "I can't believe you're here. With me." 

Yuzu sobbed and wrapped his limbs around Javi, flipping them over, and Javi's breathing hitched when he saw him like that, so strong but vulnerable, with fire dancing in his hair and liquid gold falling from his eyes. 

"Don't let me go." he whispered, leaning down, and Javi felt his hot tears against his own lips "Don't let me go, Javi." 

"I won't." Javi said quietly, a promise to both of them, tasting like salt and desperation, years of loneliness and hope for the future "I won't." 

 

_And with words unspoken_

_A silent devotion_

_I know you know what I mean_

_And the end is unknown_

_But I think I'm ready_

_As long as you're with me_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last bit comes from 'Angels' by The XX.

**Author's Note:**

> Liked it? Hate it? Let me know in the comments and thank you for reading!  
> (also there will be sunsets I promise!)


End file.
